I know I’ve said this before but, I’m back and I’m hoping this time it will be for good. I don’t even know where to start from and besides does anyone even read a blog these days? I remember I used to be super passionate and enthousiast about the whole blogging idea and I totally believed I was gonna blog everyday or being a little more realistic at least every week. But life happened. When I started this blog I was on my last months as a 19 year old. I was still a child from inside out and I know its only been about 4 years from that time, but believe me, I feel old now. My early 20s did hit me like a massive rock right in the face. It brought so many changes to my life, good and bad, and I’ve been having a very hard time trying to cope with all those changes. Life is still wonderful tho and I can’t really complain even though I do more often than I would like to admit. I just want to remark that because I don’t want to sound hypocrite. I know there are so many people out there who have it way worse. But what I really want to say is that I’m still very passionate about blogging and I want this to become something more stable and I want to be more consistent with it. I’m just still trying to figure how to make that happen.
Goal: be consistent with the blog. Obstacle: adulting. Because yeah, adulting hasn’t been very easy to me and I just like to blame it for everything I’m not doing right. To be 100% honest with you, I wasn’t ready for all the responsibilities of an adult. I grew up never cleaning my room or doing the washing up because I always had someone doing it for me. I know that’s not good and I’m not proud of it but that’s how things were. I’ve always been a spoiled little girl and stopping from being one all of a sudden was like a nightmare. Man I was not ready for paying bills and figuring out what on earth was wrong with the boiler. Then somehow I starting “losing” friends and that’s how I found that party friends are not really your friends. But rather people you sometimes used to hang out with. But again, that’s life as a teenager. When we’re on our teens we usually like to call a friend to almost everybody we know and I’m not generalizing but it did happen to a lot of people I know/used to know. So yeah it really is bullsh*t and the 20s are super harsh because you open up your eyes to so many things you couldn’t see before. That’s what’s been happening to me these last couple of years. Then of course, anxiety made an entry to my life like one of the VS angels on the VS show and life started to get a little worse. There were a few people who couldn’t really understand what was going on with me and sadly they started to get out of my social circle because yeah I was being antisocial and it was all my fault for feeling the way I did. I still get very nostalgic about all that but once more that’s life. On the other hand, there are also other people who are still helping me to get through this trying to understand me and always open to have a chat so I can free what’s disturbing my little troubled head. Those people are gold and I’m super grateful for that handful of true friends I still have. Because it’s not all dark and there is always a brighter side to everything.
This actually got a bit more personal than what I first thought but I like it and there are still a few things I would absolutely love to talk about and go deeper in the subjects but I don’t want to make this too long and boring so maybe on another post. I would love to start treating the blog as a little diary where I sometimes would share tips or experiences so it’s more fun for me to write as well. I would love to use this space to help me get through adulting and free my emotions every now and then too, why not (every time I write every now and then I feel like singing total eclipse of the heart lol). It would help me so much to keep my head entertained and busy and it might be able to help someone going through the same things. I’ve also got a loooot of stuff I want to share here that I’ve been procrastinating so I still have to get around them but fingers crossed I will be doing that this week. I already feel a little happier by posting this after months because this blog genuinely makes me happy and I’ve achieved so many things I could only dream of before thanks to this little blog and the people reading and supporting it still and also the people on Instagram, so it will always be a gigantic part of my life. Okay, I’m closing it for now and I hope you like the analog shots I’ve collected these last months too. Thank you so much for popping around!
Lots of love,